Ah, Hell!
by GivenAnythingButLove
Summary: My first crack story! Contains pretty much no plot, just a lot of random hilarity and smut. And for the first time, I introduced L into a Sonic fic! LEMON! YAOI! LANGUAGE! Click inside for the rest of the warning list since it's too long to put here XD


_**I AM SUPER HYPERRRRRRR AND I'M ABOUT TO EXPLOOOOOOOODE! **_

_**Gwen: Jeez... what did you EAT?**_

_**I WENT TO DAIRY QUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN AND GOT A THIN MINT BLIIIIIIIIIIIZARD!**_

_**Gwen: Figures... humans have such strange reactions to sugar.**_

_**HEY! You go crazy with chocolate blood, it's the same thing!**_

_**Gwen: Yes, but I don't go bouncing off the walls like you are.**_

_**YES YOU DO!**_

_**Gwen: Whatever, I'm gonna take over. Anyway, she wrote a crack story, which is probably another reason why she's acting like a sugar-crazed psycho.**_

_**True dat.**_

_**Gwen: *rolls eyes* It's her first crack story, so she wants you to be nice and to not flame her.**_

_**PLEEEEEEEEEEEASE DON'T FLAME MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! I DON'T LIKE FLAMES! *hides in corner*

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_**All Sonic characters, except for the fan characters, belong to Sega and Sonic Team. The fan characters belong to me and my friends.  
**_

_**All Death Note characters belong to... well... Death Note!  
**_

_**Warning: ALL CHARACTERS ARE VERY OOC. (They have to be, it's a crack fic!) Contains lemon, yaoi, sex changes, severe swearing, and random crap! :D  
**_

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Shadow: SONIKUUUUUUUUUU! *pounces*

Sonic: GAH, SHADOW-KUN, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?

Shadow: Oh, but Sonikuu, you look mighty sexy today. *grins evilly*

Sonic: *blush* Shadow-Kun, not now.

Amy: WHO WANTS TO HOLD MY PENIS?

Gwen: OMIGOD, AMY HAS A PENIS? WHAT THE HELL? SHE GOT A SEX CHANGE!

Amy: Yeah, now I can jack off!

Cream: Oh eww!

Bella: SHE WANTS TO MAKE GRAVY!

Sonic: Now I want biscuits and gravy.

Shadow: You can have buns and gravy. *winks*

Bella: SONADOW! SONADOW! SONADOW~! WOOOOOOOOT!

Gwen: *faints*

Renata: This is sickening.

Sonic: The worst is yet to come... heehee, come...

Bella: I wanna see them orgasm, that would be HOT.

Caroline: Am I the only one who thinks that cum looks like the reduced fat mayonnaise they serve at the school cafeteria?

Bella: I'm right there with you.

Renata: And you would know how the C-word looks how?

Gwen: *wakes up for a second* First of all, you're supposed to actually say cum, and not "the C-word", it makes you sound like a prude.

Renata: But I AM a prude.

Gwen: Whatever. Second, everyone knows what it looks like. *faints again*

Bella: Lovely, Gwen. LOVELY.

Sonic: IMMA GIVE SHADOW-KUN A HANDJOB! *pulls a blanket over them*

Cream: *squeak* I FARTED!

Caroline: GAS! EEEEEEEEK! GASSSSSSS!

Renata: *looks at Amy, who is jacking off* What is this world coming to?

Shadow: *behind blanket* I KNOW WHAT I'M COMING TO! OH DEAR GOD, SONIKUU!

Renata: NOT LIKE THAT, YOU IDIOT.

Gwen: *wakes up* YOU INSULTED MY SHADOW-KUN!

Bella: Uh, Renata, she's gonna rip your throat out.

Renata: NUUUUUUUUUUU, I'M TOO YOUNG TO DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIE!

(Mephiles walks in.) Mephiles: *looks at blanket, which is moving* Who's that?

Caroline: Sexy Sonadow.

Gwen: *looks under blanket, dives under blanket* SHADOW-KUN, LEMME HELP YOOOOOOOU!

Amy: I'LL JOIN YOU! I NEED TO SEE SONIKUU NAKED! *dives under blanket with the rest of them*

Mephiles: *leaps on top of blanket* I'M SEME TO YOU ALL!

Caroline: O.O

Gwen: IT'S HOT UNDER HERE! *fangirl scream*

Bella: *looks up at door*

(Ryuuzaki (also known as L) from Death Note is standing there, eating a lollipop.)

Bella: OH MY FUCKING GOD GWEN GET YOUR ASS OUT HERE YOU HAVE TO SEE THIS! *screams*

Gwen: *looks out, gasps* RYUUZAKI! *flies to him* I LOVE YOUR LEMONS WITH LIGHT-KUN!

Shadow: RYUUZAKI? SCREW SONIKUU, I NEED ME SOME RYUUZAKI! *throws blanket off of him and hugs Ryuuzaki, squealing*

Ryuuzaki: *licks lollipop slowly* I find it quite interesting that I have so many fans of me having sexual acts with a male.

Gwen: *licks his lollipop* It's hot! And that lollipop is fucking awesome, where did you get it?

Ryuuzaki: The gas station. *looks at Shadow, who is humping his leg* I hope you know that's making me hard, Shadow.

Gwen: Really? *looks down* Holy crap, you ARE hard! *touches it*

Amy: WHO WANTS TO SUCK MY DICK?

Ryuuzaki: I will, dear Amy. *licks Amy's cock*

Amy: *grins, moaning* I see why Light-Kun is in love with you.

Ryuuzaki: *looks up at her* I call him Kira-Kun most of the time.

Amy: But doesn't that make him the bad boy?

Ryuuzaki: Exactly.

Amy: You are so naughty. Suck me off.

Ryuuzaki: Gladly.

Renata: This is... weird...? I've never seen a human man of the age of 25... suck the cock of a 12 year old girl. That just sounds wrong.

Cream: My eyes have been devirginized for life.

Gwen: *dies laughing*

Renata: OMIGOD, GWEN, DON'T DIE! *revives*

Gwen: Oh, thank yo- *gets shot in the eye with Amy's cum* OMIGOD, IT BURNS, I'M DYI- *dies*

Bella: o_o' WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED?

Knuckles: I GOT A VAGINA NOW!

Shadow: WHY IS EVERYONE GETTING SEX CHANGES?

Gwen: *comes back to life* BECAUSE GABL IS WRITING IT, AND THAT'S WHAT SHE DREAMS ABOUT! *dies again*

Sonic: OH SHIT, SHE DREAMS ABOUT ME WITH A VAGINA?

Gwen: *wakes up* SHE LIKES MPREG! *dies*

Sonic: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

Shadow: NOW I CAN BE A DADDY?

Sonic: IN GABL'S DREAMS.

Shadow: YAYYYYYY!

Amy: I'M FUCKING HAPPY RIGHT NOW! I CAME IN A SLUT'S EYE!

Shadow: GWEN IS NOT A SLUT! SHE JUST DRESSES LIKE ONE!

Renata: AND I'VE TRIED TALKING HER OUT OF IT SO MANY TIMES IT'S NOT EVEN FUNNY ANYMORE!

Ryuuzaki: WHY ARE WE ALL SHOUTING WHEN WE COULD BE TALKING IN NORMAL, LOWERCASE LETTERS?

Gwen: *wakes up* SHUT UP, I'M TRYING TO SLEEP! *dies*

(Everyone goes quiet.)

Ryuuzaki: *whispering* I want some cake.

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_**So... yeah. FIRST CRACK FIC, AND I LOVE IT!**_

_**Gwen: Wait, how did I die in the first place?**_

_**Shut up, you're dead, remember?**_

_**Gwen: Oh yeah. *falls over, snoring***_

_**Stop snoring.**_

_**Gwen: *stops snoring***_

_**Holy shit, she listened to me. Anyway, please review, I really wanna know what you think of my first crack fic! 8D Love ya!**_

_**~ GABL**_


End file.
